I have been reading up a lot on positive parenting, which aligns itself with the teachings of Montessori I’m finding. Positive parenting can be summed up as the middle ground between aggressive parenting and passive parenting. Spanking, yelling and threatening fall under aggressive, while ignoring bad behavior, giving in too much and empty threats fall under passive. Positive is about trying to figure out why they might be freaking out. They are not being bad most of the time, they are just under or overstimulated and since they can’t talk, they use their bodies to try and tell us that something is wrong. Trying to distract and redirect is something we do at the grocery store when she starts to freak out because grocery stores can be overstimulating for toddlers. We try to play games like finding the balloon. My husband and I are not big fans of
spanking in any way, shape or form, but many people jump to the conclusion that we are just going to let her get away with everything. Whether anyone likes to admit it or not, none of us like being yelled at but somehow have no problem yelling at our children. I am guilty of this and it has been something that I’ve been working on fervently. I have no problem admitting my mistakes because no one is perfect. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t work on getting better. There is a middle ground.
Today was a perfect example. I am outside straightening up our yard and getting a few things ready for a fire and grilling tonight. We have a pair of long tongs that we use for the charcoal grill, and I was using them to pick up the grates to clean it out. She was throwing a fit wanting to use them. After firmly telling her no twice and trying to redirect her to her own toys, she wouldn’t give up. Instead of continuing to yell at her and getting stressed and annoyed with her, I just got a different pair of tongs that we have. They can be cleaned up.
Kids can be disciplined without force or fear. Many times, especially when they are so young and impressionable, they just don’t understand our logic; they want what they want. In many cases, it is what we have, and you know what? That is okay, because she is just wanting to be like us and that should be flattering, not annoying. I mean, look how happy it made her!